Socialization and Self-Censorship
The nature of culture is exclusive and necessitates that we cut off parts of ourselves to fit in. Almost as a matter of survival, society begins to prune away at us and we’re left to sort through which parts of ourselves are allowed and which parts must be hidden away.
As a result, our social world can begin to feel strained and steeped in a well-meaning dishonesty that slowly breaks our spirits over time.
Sometimes I let myself fantasize about being free to exist unrestrained but I know that’s not possible in a society that prioritizes civility and order.
The idea of true freedom feels romantic but there’s an ugliness that would accompany the total freedom to be yourself without fear of consequence. Sometimes when people are cracked open and revealed for all that they are it’s hard to stomach.
I think perhaps that’s why as much as we crave connection, we still fear it to some degree. We know that as much as people are good, people are also evil. As much as people hold the capacity for empathy, they also hold the capacity for harm.
This is perhaps why even those who champion freedom do their best to restrain others who choose to exist in ways that make them uncomfortable.
And so for better and for worse, we’re encouraged to restrain the full range of our expression in favour of a tidier version of ourselves that we perform in the world.
Obviously, life doesn’t always feel that cold.
I have happy moments with friends, vulnerable moments with family, I’ve developed a warm familiarity local workers, had meaningful exchanges with strangers, and insightful conversations with people who see the world in ways I don’t full understand.
There are still moments of profound connection to be found in life but they’re rare and unpredictable. During a first impression, it’s impossible to know whether your relationship with this stranger will end in friendship or in heartbreak or in nothing at all.
Will you take off the mask or go on with the show?
